Ayotzinapa, 4 months: The Dreams of Rafael


The latest news, the ones of the end of the world, put in jeopardy the oficial version from its ground. The experts (specialist in evidences of crimes) from Argentina that participate in the case of Ayotzinapa said to the parents of the 43, then to the american agency AP, that they have doubts even of the only young man officially declared death: Alexander. They don’t know how his remains got to a table of the dump of Cocula.

This is the case of Ayotzinapa: the doubt in doubt. Today, four months ago, the young students of the Raúl Isidro Burgos school for education (teachers) of Ayotzinapa dissapeared, and the tesis of Jesús Murillo Karam, Attorney General, maintains as the only one: they are death. Fathers and activists associate the disappearing with the military; there’s no that is known,  investigation about it. Fathers and activists don’t trust the federal government to the point of having no more dialogue.

Four months few answers.

But the case has not stop being a reference of what México is around the world, really, and how its being governed…

By Shaila Rosagel

Mexico City, 26 of January (SinEmbargo).- Julio César López wanted to be a part of the marching band of the school of education called Raúl Isidro Burgos, of Ayotzinapa. “I want to be in that marching band, you will see that I’ll get it”, he said in an occasion to his father. “You will see”, responded.

Rafael López Catarino is the father of that young man. He has dreamt that he returns for the last four months. And every time the dreams are more frequent.

“The last time he looked better, not so skinny. He was a bit chubby. I was worried, really, that he didn’t eat there where they kept him. I see him getting here and into his room. I feel a lot of emotions. I can’t believe. The joy of seeing him. I feel so happy to se him that I don’t talk to him right away. When I want to talk to him, I wake up. I wake up to the sad reality: he is not here. We haven’t found him”.

Rafael pauses. His throat turns into a knot as he remembers the dreams that are more often with time, although  he doesn’t manage, in them, to talk to him, with his son Julio, one of the 43 boys kidnaped by policemen that, apparently, delivered them to organized crime.

Barely four months ago Rafael lived with tranquility. He planted an acre of land with crops of corn, flower and pumpkin, and although the field, says, doesn’t owe much, he helped with the fattening of some porks and sheeps.

His wife dedicated to vegetables and to wait their sons and his husband to eat supper. But from that 26th of September, the outlook changed for the family.

“Sometimes I feel like a can’t continue, without money. People are getting tired of helping. But these are our children; we have to remain here, with all the tiredness, headaches, the problems. My life has change so much: I am peasant and was sowing. I got tired and went to a shadow and then we went to the field. Now I don’t sow. I abandoned the field, the harvest got ruined and had to sell the animals”, says.

For Rafael, his wife is the one that carries the worst part. “She is ill from the kidneys, and it’s minutes, hours, days, weeks and weeks that we can’t see our son. Sometimes I’m on the transport and I listen people talking about us and I’ll like to tell them: ‘Since they are not your kids, it doesn’t hurt them’. But I hold it”, tells.

The mother of Julio prays every momento to finding his son, says Rafael. The Pray, the only weapon that she owns to support the search, takes away all her sleep.

“Its 12 o cloak at nigh and my woman  is still praying. She is tired, she prays day and night. I understands she is a desperate mother, but sometimes I tell her: ‘Sleep now, woman’, because she gets up at five in the morning to buy the vegetables. Sometimes she doesn’t respond well to me or to my other children and I tell her we must be considered. A mother suffers more for a kid”

Rafael remembers Julio. Always takes him with him. He searches for him and continue to do so. Doesn’t believe the version of the Attorney General of México (PGR) and remains with hopes that his son is found kidnaped in some place around the mountains.

Some have told them that they saw them alive. the mule drivers, the ones that go up and down the mountains. Images que get charged with life in the mind of the father. He pictures him over there, any place, working, kidnaped and without the possibility of escaping.

Julio did his test to became a teacher in Ayotzinapa when he was 24 years old, because he helped his father in the crop all his life and worked other plots to make some money. “My son was good. He wanted to buy me a caterpillar when he worked, so that I woundn’t be in the mud, because one is the mud from very early in the morning. Why God takes away the people that are the nicest?”.


“When we got to the school, the two sons that always go with him were not there. He was devastated. He saw us and hugged us with tear full eyes. We told him that we will stay with him, pero he said: ‘Go the march, go, the fight continues, it has to go on’. He was with the head up, full of pain, but head held high”, narrates José Isabel García Mora, family of Alexander Mora Venancio.

Is the scene that happened a month and a half ago when Ezequiel Mora Choca, father of Alexander received the news that a molar and a bone of two centimeters located between the remains that the PGR found in Colcula, were from his son.

That day, Ezequiel, widow since five years before and taxi driver in Tecoanapa (state of Guerrero) lost hope of finding his sin alive and cried his death. He Broke from the pain, without a body to bury.

“Now, a month a half later, I feel bad because they are deceiving myself with the remains of my son. I don’t believe anything of the government, I give them five days to deliver me Alexander Mora alive”, said an aroused Ezequiel. The voice of Ezequiel shakes: they didn’t even gave to him the molar and the bone of Alexander, to give it a burial, take them to the cemetery of El Pericón.

“[The Presidente Enrique] Peña Nieto has sons, if they kidnaped or killed one, he would want revenge very fast” says with desperation.

There’s rage in Ezequiels tone of voice. The anger of a man that left his life, the taxi he drove, to remain day and night in Ayotzinapa to wait for the remains of his son.

However, there is confort in that. The hope of seeing his son again with life got turned on again after the version of PGR, that is imposible to recognize the other 42 in those black bags of ashes.

“they want to turn off the movement by saying that the young men are death. To my, my son isn’t death, he is alive. Nothing probes the contrary, not even the tooth or the little piece of bone that may have taken off him. I want my son alive”, said.

Life for Ezequiel and the rest of his family suffers the absence of alexander, because he was the youngest of 5 brothers.

One of the brothers lives in Los Cabosm Baja California Sur, another one is a laborer in the United States and two more of the youngest live with him in El Pericón.

“There is a lot of sadness, he is the youngest boy of all. Y want him alive” insisted.

Alexander was a young educated boy that lived in a house of a seeling of metal sheet, a floor of dirt, with two of his brothers and his father.

He studied the first semester, had 19 years old when he disappeared in Iguala, along with other 42 classmates.

When he decided to join the school in Ayotzinapa, his father opposed in the begining.

However, the wish of Alexander to be a normalista (student to become a teacher) and manage to approve the tests to get in, convinced Ezequiel to allow the boy to get in school.

Although it has being four months of absence and that he is the only of the 43 that officially, according to the PGR, is identified, his father doesn’t resign and waits for him in Ayotzinapa.


Since four months ago, Ayotzinapa is the home of Macedonia Torres Romero, mother of José Luis Luna Torres, one of the normalize that disappeared the 26th of September in Iguala.

there, between the rotten walls of the old classrooms where he studied to become a teacher, and in front of the altar of saints placed in the center of the esplanade of multiple uses at school, Macedonia lives and is one more that praise with tens of mothers like her, waiting for any news.

I arrived days later from the dissapering of the normalistas and she has only moved the place to participate in protests and activities to find José Luis.

Macedonia is a woman of small stature, medium complex, from Amilcingo Morelos and is a widow from many years ago.

“I used to sell corn and peanuts in Cuautla and now I don’t work, I’m always here, because if we leave to our homes to continue with life, who is going to look for our sons? Just us”, said. Three months ago, SinEmbargo talked for the first time to Macedonia in Ayotzinapa. In that occasion the mother of José Luis could barely talk because of pain caused by the lost. Today the woman is firm and her words are strong.

“Now my son needs me. The only thing that all the mothers want is to find the 43 students and that those bad men that have them, that they feed them and don’t mistreat them. We are going to continue to fight until we find them”, said.

Macedonia, as other mothers and fathers, doesn’t believe the PGR version. She doesn’t accept the ashes, she sats. She wants her son alive.

“Alive they took them, alive we want them” They were students, not vandals like they say. Sons of laborers. If I had money  would have paid for a private school, but we are poor. I don’t believe he is detain those ashes, I didn’t see him”, sentenced.

In Ayotzinapa, the mothers of the ‘normalists’ gather voices and prayers together. They confort each other, explained Macedonia.

There they remember anecdotes of their children, relive those days when they were home. They laugh and cry.

“Here we are all together, we help each other, give strength. If one gets sick, the other one helps, but waiting until they tell us something about our sons”, said.

Macedonia gets excited remembering José Luis, a young man that wanted to study to became a teacher in Ayotzinapa so that he could get a chance at better opportunities.

Although some knowns of the woman alerted that is was dangerous to study there, the thrive of his son convinced her.

“He told me: ‘Come on, mom, let me study so I can have a special job and have more, we don’t have anything, let me so you can live with me in a better house’, because we are poor, we don’t have anything in Morelos “, said.

In Morelos, Macedonia was a peddler and traveled an hour and a half in a COMBI to Cuautla every day. Her husband left her with the moestead before he died, one house with two rooms in Amilcingo. One of metal sheet, another one of concrete.

“He made me the concrete room with the work of crops, he said: ‘woman what do we do with the money of sorghum, God multiplied. Woman, do we buy clothes and shoes?’ Because I wanted clothes for my sons”, remembers. “But he tells me: ‘There is always clothes, there is always shoes, but not a house’, so we did the room of cement”.


That night they sat on the table to tal about the future of the boy: Cristian Alfonso Rodríguez wanted to be an agronomist engineer, but there were no resources, only other options.

Cristian talked to Clemente, his father, that he would study to become a rural teacher and this way he could do well. The school was about 15 minutes away from Tixtla, Guerrero, where he lived and it was a place that could receive a poor kid, like him.

Thats how he entered Ayotzinapa, with the dream of some day have the resources to change the outlook of family: poverty.

But those dreams crumbled down said Clemente Rodríguez Moreno, father of Cristian. Now he is a poorer then ever, because before September 26 the man used to work in the streets of Tixtla to sell water.

With tres daughters of 21, 17 and 14 years old studying, for Clemente, that stopped working to dedicate himself to the search of his lost son, the situation is devastating.

He finished his money for fun, for hunt and dress, and his wife, the mother of Cristian, to whom he wanted to help economically so that he no longer worked, keeps doing it with more effort.

“My son told me that he wanted to earn good money and work. My wife does tortillas for a living and my son used to tell her: ‘that could hurt your sight in the long run, when I work you will no longer make tortillas’, for me he wanted to locate a water supplier, with workers, those were his dreams, but it all crumbled, they took  his hope”, narrated.

The scenario  for Clemente and his family is bleak. Cristian was the only boy and an arm in which the family supported on.

“All the fathers are going throu the same situation. I don’t complain, people support us and I thank them, they take out a peso of their wallet, from their wallet to give it to us” said. Along the economic problems, the  psychological hit has being tough for the daughters.

“There is always someone in school asking them about her brother. They tell them that maybe he doesn’t come back and they suffer. My familia has change tremendously, we are not the same” assures.

In the house of Clemente, his woman and daughters look down, he tells. No rest, no sleep.

“We just go trough. I tell my wife not to give up, because we are going to fall sick, we are going to get out of this one”

Photograpy By Antonio Cruz para SinEmbargo.mx

Translation: David Salazar

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